I love lists. I have a very strong affinity for groupings of three. If you continue to read my blog each week, you will see an alarming number of concepts that contain three examples. It is probably the preacher in me. We are known for crafting messages with 3, but not more than 4, points. Anyway. Today’s list comes with a warning to beware of all things toxic.
Toxicity May Be Closer Than You Think
There may be toxic foods lurking in your kitchen. Nutmeg, rhubarb, and green potatoes can be extremely toxic. Cashews can be toxic and fatal for people with a poison ivy allergy. When it comes to toxicity, cleaning products get all the publicity. You are already fully aware that bleach is for cleaning not for drinking, however your relationships may need a good scrubbing with emotional Clorox.
Toxic Peeps
Beware of all things toxic. Beware of the toxic peeps. Toxic people are as prevalent as the cleaning products under your sink. Toxicity invades our lives and our relationships and the next thing we know we are spewing debris like Three Mile Island. Toxicity seems and feels contagious. One must evacuate a conversation or a relationship in order to avoid the lasting affects of the spill. Moreover, some of us love the drama that comes with the toxic peeps. We thrive on the controversary and the adversarial mischief.
The List
I want to be clear about the constitution and constructs of a toxic person, hence the list. The list is rough. The first place to look for toxicity is in the mirror. I can clearly see Greg on the list. You will almost certainly see you. Deep breath. Here goes. Self-absorption. Lying. Manipulation. Unwilling to listen to feedback. Assigning blame. Refusing to accept responsibility. Never wrong. Always plays the victim. Frequent anger. Hidden agendas. Only value their agenda. Critical spirit. Malicious. Ignore boundaries. Passive aggressive. The list could go on and on.
Resistance Is Futile
Our natural instinct is to resist identifying the toxin. We are afraid that we will come across as terrible at best and judgmental at worst. You will resist identifying at your own peril. Dr. Henry Cloud says that it is a tough pill to swallow.
“If you are a responsible and loving person, then you might assume that other people are like you—responsible and loving. They do the right thing, taking responsibility for themselves, for their mistakes, for their work. And they care about other people and how their actions affect those people…So doesn’t it make sense that everyone else would be like you and really care? Sure, if you lived on Mars. But this is planet Earth. And if you are going to succeed in life and business, you need to succeed on this planet, not Mars.” (Henry Cloud, Necessary Endings)
Swallow the pill and identify the toxic peeps and limit your contact with them. Fill your life with healthy, loving, and affirming people. Filter out the toxins in your life and the toxic peeps will find you less attractive. Greg and Craig are on the road to identify and eliminate the toxins. There is room on the road for you. Let’s go!
